Those People.

You know when you're going through a photo album of pictures of yourself (yes, I know nobody has a photo album specifically of themselves...I'm talking online like myspace or something), and you have this strange sensation that you're looking at someone else? I sound like a complete idiot, but even as you're nodding your head about my idiocy think about it. I'm sure you've felt the same stupid thing at some point or another.

Not the point.

Sometimes I get the reverse sensation. I look at pictures of some really close friends I've had over the years and I feel like I'm looking at myself. And these people might not even be close to me now. I was just looking at pictures of my best friend from elementary school. We've grown apart considerably, but back then we could have been related. I saw her everyday...and maybe my brain replaced my face in the mirror with hers. But we supposedly look quite similar anyway. I make no sense. But I haven't actually seen her in years.

I ran five miles just now. I bet it weirds people out to see a girl jogging and smiling.

How...

How did I get in and not her? How is that even possible? I only applied to two schools in the system...that could be a valid reason. Being accepted by both would be...explainable? She applied to more than four I'm assuming. The system likes to screw us all and only accept into some. I should have told her that.
How was I supposed to know they wouldn't accept her? Her SAT scores were better. Her GPA is better. She's prettier (granted, they don't know that).

What's sad is...I was accepted about two years ago. And I feel like I'm wasting it. I'm wasting it because I have about a 2.8 GPA. I'm wasting it because it took me two tries to pass my second chem class. I'm wasting it because no med school would ever accept me at this rate.

Can I move at a different rate? Is movement even what I'm looking for? Maybe I'm not smart enough. Maybe I'm not motivated at all. But that has to be a lie...cause I got this far didn't I? They had to see something in my lesser GPA and SAT scores.

What the hell does UCLA know? It isn't even an ivy. Who is California to judge?

Oh wait, Los Angeles judges everyone.

It's gotta be close to midnight.

"What's the time?
Well, it's gotta be close to midnight
My body's talking to me
It says, 'time for danger'
It says 'I wanna commit a crime
Wanna be the cause of a fight
Wanna put on a tight skirt and flirt
with a stranger'
I've had a knack from my back
At breaking the rules once I learn the games
Get up - Life's too quick
I know someplace sick
Where this chick'll dance in the flames
We don't need any money
I always get in for free
You can get in too
If you get in with me
Let's go out tonight
I have to go out tonight
You wanna play?
Let's run away
We won't be back
Before it's Christmas Day
Take me out tonight (Meow)
When I get a wink from the doorman
Do you know how lucky you'll be?
That you're on line with the feline of
Avenue B
Let's go out tonight
I have to go out tonight
You wanna prowl
Be my night owl?
Well take my hand we're gonna how
Out tonight
In the evening I've got to roam
Can't sleep in the city of neon and chrome
Feels too damn much like home
When the Spanish babies cry
So let's find a bar
So dark we forget who we are
And all the scars from the
Nevers and maybes die
Let's go out tonight
Have to go out tonight
You're sweet
Wanna hit the street?
Wanna wail at the moon like a cat in heat?
Just take me out tonight
Please take me out tonight
Don't forsake me - out tonight
I'll let you make me - Out tonight
Tonight - Tonight - Tonight"

- Mimi from "Rent"